So, I was a virgin until the age of 21. I had this belief that I should save that special moment for when I get married. I was a Christian kid growing up; Not the one that happily sang in the church choir or was a devout man of God, the one who snoozed during Sunday service and declared it an injustice that a boy must go to church every week. Still, I had this belief that the first time should be held for marriage and stuck to that. Then 21 hit and I didn’t care anymore. That and I was so horny that I’ve could’ve exploded and cum would’ve busted out instead of blood and guts. So, I hopped on Tinder and after a couple of months, I matched up to a chick named Jane. She didn’t know I was a virgin. I was embarrassed that I was a 21-year-old who hasn’t had sex yet, but figured, “If porn stars can do it so easily, so can I”. Clearly, I had the mindset of a 21-year-old guy as well.

So the big day came. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous or scared. I was really into Jane so that probably suppressed my nervousness. There was another nice lady named Alicia, who was just looking for a chat and nothing else. Since I never planned to hook up with her, I told her the straight truth and she was stunned at first. A healthy and young black male who listens to rap that usually has the lyrics, “I f**k bitches left and right” was actually an innocent spirit between the sheets? Blasphemy! But she was very encouraging about the subject and felt that it was best to wait until I find the girl that loves me for me. Of course, I never took any of this to heart because I was thinking with my penis and not my brain.

Back to the big day. Everything was perfect leading up to the special moment. The sun was shining. The birds were happily chirping. The aliens took a raincheck on invading earth that afternoon. It felt that lady luck was on my side and nothing was going to ruin my day. We get to the moment thanks to a random kiss that led to more. However, something felt off. For some reason, this moment felt wrong. Finally, I was going to have sex with some hot chick and it just didn’t feel right. So I stopped. Of course, Jane wasn’t happy. Then I told her the truth. Yep, that I was a black 21-year-old. No seriously, this is what I said. I was wrestling with the truth and some dumb shit came out.

Eventually, I got to the truth and it felt damn good. As a man, I felt that I needed to have sex as that was the ultimate catalyst for my past relationships. The girls I previously dated were supposedly virgins as well, though I was dropped quickly because another man was immediately willing to supply the dick. In reality, it hurt. Sex felt like a necessary component for love, and I was tired of being dumped or cheated on. Of course, Jane didn’t take this well and I was thrown out quicker than a hiccup.

Nine months later, I lost my virginity to Alicia. It wasn’t a quick thing as we started dating a couple of weeks after the whole Jane incident and I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to lose it too. She was patient, respectful, and most importantly, Alicia loved me for me. It just goes to show you that there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin no matter your age. Sure, you’ll be judged in a negative light by many; however, that’s life at the end of the day. People are always going to talk shit about you no matter what. Simply ignore it and move on. It’s your body and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of saving yourself for that special person.